Loss of Innocence

I was innocent once. I guess everyone is. But there is a point in life when that innocence is lost. I lost mine at a stage when I was becoming a man from a boy. It was not a momentous event, nor was it dramatic. It just happened gradually and very slowly like the arrival of rain after a cloudy day. Something very natural and expected.

By losing of innocence I do not mean a loss of my beliefs. Nor do I mean a loss of my faith in my ability. It also doesn’t mean I became a crook. It just means that the sanctity, the purity, the pristine quality every man is born with got diluted and I joined the great mass of human civilization.

Ideals became less and less feasible in the world as it is and practicality seemed more and more inviting. But given that was the case, I would like to think that the idealistic aspect of my personality has not been diluted. I am still idealistic, although I can understand someone’s point when they advice me on the utility of practical approach in the modern world. I do not despise them anymore.

So what brings about the loss of innocence? Assuming my basic assumption, that all men are innocent and they lose the innocence at some point, is true, it is a momentary desire or a complicated web of human relationships that cause this innocence to be diluted. It is difficult to gauge what would be the case if one did not lose their innocence? I cannot speak for others but I can for myself.

If I did not lose that innocence of mine, I wouldn’t be a good son or a brother or a companion. I would view every action as right or wrong. My goals, ambitions and aspirations would be my only vision and I would live only for myself. That is ideal, in an ideal world. But in a world less than ideal, an ideal man is un-ideal in himself. My innocence is diluted; hence I see my aspirations, dreams and ambitions in context of the people I live for. They(ideals) dont mean as much to me as they did earlier, because ultimately it is human happiness that counts.

Since the dilution has been to the bare minimum as far as my core self is concerned, I still retain my dream, my vision. Is that the case with everyone? For someone else the dilution may be entirely different. It may affect the core but not the exterior! What happens then?

Some don’t lose their innocence at all! Do they become an ideal man in a less than ideal world?

Everyday teaches a new lesson. Everyday there is a dilution of innocence. What is my aspiration now? I hope to be someone that strengthens someone’s innocence not dilute one’s! After all it is humans that make the less than ideal world and hence it is humans that dilute another man’s innocence. It is a chain reaction. Maybe I will be a small pause in the chain, if not a break.

Life goes on; my son will wonder the same thing as I do today. I am sure, my dad did someday. But does every son, dad and son wonder the same in differing measure? I do not know. May be that is irrelevant. Better to be a less than ideal man in a less than ideal world than an ideal man in a less than ideal world! How less is the question?